Tag Archives: adolescence

Have a Kid in High School? (Continued)

10 Mar

Here are the rest of the groupings or categories.
The Dorks
The dork is considered to be silly, out-of-touch, tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit, a stupid, inept, or foolish person.
This is going by the definition of the other kids. A girl that does not go around in the skimpy and “trendy” clothes would be labeled a dork, don’t you think?
Nerd
Nerd (adjective: nerdy) is a descriptive term, often used to indicate that a person is overly intellectual, obsessive, or socially impaired. They may spend inordinate amounts of time on unpopular, obscure, or non-mainstream activities, which are generally either highly technical or relating to topics of fiction or fantasy, to the exclusion of more mainstream activities. Additionally, many nerds are described as being shy, quirky, and unattractive, and may have difficulty participating in, or even following, sports. Though originally derogatory, “Nerd” is a stereotypical term, but as with other pejoratives, it has been reclaimed and redefined by some as a term of pride and group identity.
These are the bookworms so to speak and last time I checked, we send our kids to school to read books and study.

The Duffs
Designated Ugly Fat Friend
Be attentive to how your kids feel about their looks. If they are fussy about their weigh when there really is no reason for it, watch out! They may have been designated duffs in school.
The Bully
Bullying is a common occurrence in most schools. Bullies thrive with terrorizing others and striking fear in them. A bully does not necessarily have to be bigger in size, they have mastered the art of inflicting pain be it physical, mental, emotional. Some bully as a means of self-preservation, others just for fun. No one loves to be bullied, and no one loves to raise a bully.
The Geeks
The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult
Not to be confused with Nerd. A geek does not have to be smart, a Geek is someone who is generaly not athletic, and enjoys Video Games; Comic Books; being on the internet, and etc.
The term now enjoys a special status within the technical community, particularly among particularly knowledgable computer programmers. To identify oneself as a “geek” indicates a recognition that most people still consider programming computers to be a bizarre act, along with a certain fierce satisfaction in being very good at their inglorious profession.

That most software geeks now easily earn twice as much as the average laborer just sweetens their defiant embrace of the term.

Note: Unlike the word “nerd,” which is always pejorative, “geek” often carries a positive connotation when used by one of the group. The use of the term by outsiders is considered insulting.
Those outside the group feel the geeks are weird or uncool. The geeks just love being geeks.
CL Complete Loser
A person who has fallen off the social ladder, climbed down the social ladder, jumped off the social ladder, or just never bothered to climb the social ladder in the first place. Upon arrival on the ground, losers begin to befriend fellow groundlings and realize how much fun a person can have when gravity isn’t an issue. It is perfectly acceptable to insult losers, because they have nowhere to fall to and it won’t hurt much. They will end up laughing about it later, anyways. Every now and then, a loser will glance at the top of the social ladder, but it is never long before they realize how pointless and stupid the top of the ladder is.
The saying “He that is down fears no fall” comes in handy. They are like the ‘factionless’ in the movie Divergents. They mind their own business and hope you mind yours.
The Cool Kids
-When someone is “cool” they are popular, suave, and you like them.
The cool kids are also popular, but may not come with the fat bank accounts and certainly are not dumb.
The Dweebs
Different then nerd, geek, or dork. A dweeb is someone who is intellectual and socially-inept, but also ineffectual and devoid of passion.
Max, fitting the role of the dweeb, spent all Friday night reading Hartshorne’s “Algebraic Geometry” while the others in the dorm wing went downtown for an evening of fun.
By looking between all of these definitions, we realise that the word ‘dweeb’ translates more or less to ‘loser’
Why don’t you try to find out how your kids are faring in this new environment called high school? How do their peers view them? How do they feel about how their peers and school mates relate to them? Is it affecting their studies? Do your kids really like school?
You’ll be glad you did.

Have a Kid in High School?

9 Mar

Having a kid can be so exciting. You have these high hopes and visions where you see them grow up to become successful independent adult impacting on the world positively. Your dreams and visions remain the same while they pass through kindergarten and elementary school. You find you can still control at least some aspects of their lives. Then comes middle school and you begin to lose that control and when they get into high school it’s an entirely different ball game!
When children get into high school a lot of changes take place: their dressing, outlook, relationship with their parents, speech…ah yes! Their speech. These kids come home and use some words that totally fly over our heads. Sometimes we feel so timid to ask what the words mean, I mean like hey! Who’s the parent here? But a lot can be accomplished if we stopped pretending we understood everything they said and just plain ask them, “What does that mean?”
My daughter offhandedly referred to her brother as a jock. He took it in stride while the word continued to rotate in my head…jock? Jock? What’s a jock? I remember I’ve heard the word used in many high school movies but I’ve never taken time to find out what it really means. So I swallowed, cleared my throat and said to myself, “Here goes” and I asked her, “And what does that mean? The word jock, I mean. She stares at me for a bit and seeing I was not backing down she says “It’s a word that means he’s very into sports in school.” I can tell from her expression that she’s only given me half a definition, and she knows that I know that she knows she’s trying to fool me, so she gives me part of the other half of the definition, “It also means he’s popular with the girls because he’s in shape,” and then…”and he’s not very brilliant like the nerds….”
It’s now my turn to stare and believe me I did stare. I felt different degrees of horrified. That was supposed to describe my son? All that is spent on school fees is for him to go become a “jock” in school? Trying to hide how utterly disappointed I felt I asked her, “And you, what are you in school”? and I hold my breath. She pretends to consider the question and finally says, “They may say I’m a duff, some say a nerdy duff, but it doesn’t bother me”.
Duff? Now what’s that?
“And your sister?” “Oh she’s the bully.”
So I asked her to do me a list of all the names they use to categorise themselves in school and she does and I took out time to check what each of the term actually means and it’s quite an interesting find.
The Jock
Jock
In Canada and the United States, a jock is a stereotype of an athlete. It is generally attributed mostly to high school and college athletics participants who form a distinct youth subculture. As a blanket term, jock can be considered synonymous with athlete. Similar words that may mean the same as jock include meathead, musclebrain, and musclehead. These terms are based on the stereotype that a jock is muscular, but not very smart, and cannot carry a conversation on any topic other than one relating to sports, exercise, or sex.
Going by this definition, I am definitely not interested in my son being a jock…I mean, come on!
The Popular Kids
Usually characterized by overall wealth, fashionable style, confidence, the “popular kids” vary from school to school. Depending on what school you go to, they can be intelligent, intelligent but dumb themselves down, or just downright idiots. They come in all shapes and sizes, from petite brunettes to towering blondes. Most of them throw/attend the best parties in town, date the hottest girls/boys in town, and wear the most envy-worthy clothes in town.
The popular kid is not just determined by the size of the parents’ bank account, but by how much freedom the parents give them—freedom to throw and attend lavish parties, freedom to date the hottest boys/girls, freedom to get the most ‘envy-worthy’ clothes.
In the long run the popular kids marry in the circles and inherit daddy’s business—at least in most cases.
Remember the popular kid could dumb or intelligent.

To be continued…

Free at Last?

5 Jul

Free at Last?.

One instruction the Kids Don’t Want to Hear

13 Jun

Have you noticed how much the kids hate it when you tell them, “It’s bedtime, go to bed”. Well I don’t know about you but I have to repeat that instruction over and over each night before they get a move on.

I wish I had someone to tell me to go to bed by 9 pm, I would be so elated! After a hard days work, sleep is the primary thing on my mind as I head home. But alas! I can’t do that once I step in. I need to perform all duties common to wives and mothers so that when I finally hit the sack, there is no looking back.

But not so the children. They spend all day in school, come home have their homework done, play more than they should, help out as little as they wish and then settle in front of the TV and when it is time for them to retire, they wail as loud as they can.

Well I try not to get swayed by them and their wails and complaints. Bedtime is bedtime and must be adhered to because whether they like it or not, it is for their own good!

WhenTeens Begin to Wish to Die…There is a Problem!

12 Jun

When I remember my childhood, I remember dreams…dreams of castles and princes in shining armour, dreams of having a dozen adorable children to dote on, dreams of living to be a hundred and fifty and yet NOT growing old, dreams of my parents always being there no matter how old we get to be, visions of becoming a celebrity and always rising to the cheering and applause of a massive crowd (even rehearsing how I would wave to them in response to the applause).

Tall dreams all of these, but such was the joy of childhood and adolescence, NEVER in the agenda was death! Then the world was more focused, though the badness was still there but the most heinous of crimes were only found in the movies.

Now worse crimes than movie makers can conjecture are committed in real life, the resultant effect? Our children who really should be living carefree lives now want to end it all. We have severely depressed children than at any other time in our generation. (I remember it was considered impossible for a child below 18 to have a headache when I was growing up, the general thinking was, “What is the child thinking about so as to have a headache?) Now children are born with headaches, they have brain tumours and problems that even adults find difficult to understand.

When I read about what is happening to Paris Jackson, I cannot help but feel for the poor fifteen year old who preoccupies herself with thoughts of dying. She is simply re-living her father’s life…no childhood.

We need to feel pity for the children, the teens of this generation. They have far more in their plates than some of us had for two score years put together. Could it be TV, the world’s warped idea of entertainment and humour? Are we in such a dead hurry to have our children grow up that we bring them face to face with adult problems and expect them to rise to the occasion?

Whatever it is, let’s let the children play, when they want to, skip about when they deserve to, talk like children when they have the chance…Let’s let the children BE children.

They Know Us Better

28 May

I was feeling irritated as I was doing some chores the other day, when my eldest daughter walked up to me and started narrating an experience from school. Now I pride myself that I always pay attention to the children come what may, but this day I was…irritated. Even more so is the fact that she speaks so fast that I normally give her undivided attention to catch every word she says especially when she is speaking excitedly. That patience wasn’t there this because…well you are right, I was irritated. So I just short her up and made some nasty remark about her never being audible enough. Well I just said a bunch of things that had a lot of “never” in it. Even as I was saying it, a tiny voice was telling me, “You’re doing this badly, you are generalising, not good, not good”. But I just ploughed on telling the voice in my head “I just want to be alone, I can apologise later.”

As if the voice in my head was not doing enough damage to my psyche my daughter stood her ground. She looked totally unaffected by my rants. I paused from the dishes I was doing and gave her a hopefully intimidating look. She wasn’t looking intimidated either. She said to me, “All you need to do is ask for a hand for I am sure you know you cannot do everything around here. So hand over the sponge and stand over here while I do the dishes and tell you my experience”.

I felt deflated and like a small child who has just been scolded, I handed her the sponge and stood where she asked me to stand. She collected the sponge, gave me a smile as she shook her head. We both burst into laughter simultaneously, all offences forgotten as she proceeded to guide me through her school experience.

As I listened to her I could not help but thank God I have a daughter who actually understands me even more than I understand myself sometimes. And I decided to share because I know somewhere out there are a lot of us parents who have such understanding kids. We really should be grateful for that!

An Open Letter

22 Apr

To the one I used to love as my own until she proved she never was,

Ever since you left I have wondered and wondered (my brain is almost fried from wondering) ‘why did you do it?’ What would your explanation be to those who ask you the same question? I try to detach myself, make it seem that it does not matter, I am not bothered, but it is not true…ten years is quite a long time to be flushed down the toilet.

But then I discovered the lies…the lies you told to justify your actions to those who cared to find out why such a drastic decision was taken, and I realise you just wanted out. It is not but it’s okay. I understand you have to live your life and I have no right over it, after all I am NOT your mother and your parents are very much alive. You are with your parents now and they love you…I believe much much more than I ever could. So I say goodbye to you. Have a wonderful time and a blessed future. There is nothing more I could have wished you more than that your future remains blessed, that you find whatever it is you are looking for. But remember you do not need look too hard for certain things…they come to you.

I pray it goes well with you, but please, do not give anyone else the treatment you gave me, it is unforgivable.

I am willing to let the past remain in the past. I have learned to build my life around MY family, which no longer includes you.

May you find peace with the one who made you leave.

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