Tag Archives: experience

Have a Kid in High School?

9 Mar

Having a kid can be so exciting. You have these high hopes and visions where you see them grow up to become successful independent adult impacting on the world positively. Your dreams and visions remain the same while they pass through kindergarten and elementary school. You find you can still control at least some aspects of their lives. Then comes middle school and you begin to lose that control and when they get into high school it’s an entirely different ball game!
When children get into high school a lot of changes take place: their dressing, outlook, relationship with their parents, speech…ah yes! Their speech. These kids come home and use some words that totally fly over our heads. Sometimes we feel so timid to ask what the words mean, I mean like hey! Who’s the parent here? But a lot can be accomplished if we stopped pretending we understood everything they said and just plain ask them, “What does that mean?”
My daughter offhandedly referred to her brother as a jock. He took it in stride while the word continued to rotate in my head…jock? Jock? What’s a jock? I remember I’ve heard the word used in many high school movies but I’ve never taken time to find out what it really means. So I swallowed, cleared my throat and said to myself, “Here goes” and I asked her, “And what does that mean? The word jock, I mean. She stares at me for a bit and seeing I was not backing down she says “It’s a word that means he’s very into sports in school.” I can tell from her expression that she’s only given me half a definition, and she knows that I know that she knows she’s trying to fool me, so she gives me part of the other half of the definition, “It also means he’s popular with the girls because he’s in shape,” and then…”and he’s not very brilliant like the nerds….”
It’s now my turn to stare and believe me I did stare. I felt different degrees of horrified. That was supposed to describe my son? All that is spent on school fees is for him to go become a “jock” in school? Trying to hide how utterly disappointed I felt I asked her, “And you, what are you in school”? and I hold my breath. She pretends to consider the question and finally says, “They may say I’m a duff, some say a nerdy duff, but it doesn’t bother me”.
Duff? Now what’s that?
“And your sister?” “Oh she’s the bully.”
So I asked her to do me a list of all the names they use to categorise themselves in school and she does and I took out time to check what each of the term actually means and it’s quite an interesting find.
The Jock
In Canada and the United States, a jock is a stereotype of an athlete. It is generally attributed mostly to high school and college athletics participants who form a distinct youth subculture. As a blanket term, jock can be considered synonymous with athlete. Similar words that may mean the same as jock include meathead, musclebrain, and musclehead. These terms are based on the stereotype that a jock is muscular, but not very smart, and cannot carry a conversation on any topic other than one relating to sports, exercise, or sex.
Going by this definition, I am definitely not interested in my son being a jock…I mean, come on!
The Popular Kids
Usually characterized by overall wealth, fashionable style, confidence, the “popular kids” vary from school to school. Depending on what school you go to, they can be intelligent, intelligent but dumb themselves down, or just downright idiots. They come in all shapes and sizes, from petite brunettes to towering blondes. Most of them throw/attend the best parties in town, date the hottest girls/boys in town, and wear the most envy-worthy clothes in town.
The popular kid is not just determined by the size of the parents’ bank account, but by how much freedom the parents give them—freedom to throw and attend lavish parties, freedom to date the hottest boys/girls, freedom to get the most ‘envy-worthy’ clothes.
In the long run the popular kids marry in the circles and inherit daddy’s business—at least in most cases.
Remember the popular kid could dumb or intelligent.

To be continued…


Now I Actually Have To Double-Check

21 Jun

It was a sad night last night. Security has never really been my thing (I am quite careless I admit). Naivete must actually be a reason for that or just plain stupidity. But each time I hear about violent crime I get the feeling it cannot happen to me or my immediate family. But then recently, I am getting firsts in things unimaginable (to me that is). First my adopted daughter betrays me in the meanest way ever, then she tries to rub it in my face by visiting my home in my absence to gain solidarity from my children, then last night my home gets attacked by real armed men. Now THAT is what is unimaginable to me, that men can lie in wait for their fellow man in order to harm them…people who have done them no harm, who don’t even KNOW them…

I was roused last night by shouts from my backyard (my husband had gone out to put off the power generating set since the nations power generators prefer to keep everyone in darkness). Some masked armed men were grappling with my husband. They had been lying in wait for him knowing he would definitely come out to turn off the gen set. Well they surprised him when they put a gun to his head and asked him to hush, but he recovered quickly enough to not only disarm them but send them scurrying away the way they came (I know I don’t engage in hero worship but he is definitely my hero now). By the time the police arrived they were gone but my husband was injured.

It is indeed so amazing what people do in the name of robberies. These days you really have to be ancient to bring cash home (everyone is going cashless) so what exactly did they want?

I thank God my husband was not hurt more than he was and that he succeeded in keeping them away from gaining entry into the house. At least that spared our children that trauma. As for me, I sustained some injuries when I took off in blind anxiety to go and help him out and ran smack into the door (I blacked out for a while) and when I came to they were already gone.

Very sad experience that I have to live with, but now I know I have to check and  double check, be more security conscious. Though that won’t stop a determined criminal, but at least it would make me feel more at least.

I wish us all a safe, good night’s sleep.

The Harsh Realities of Life

18 Apr

Is it really necessary to cling to a dead relationship? Is it dignifying to us if we keep hanging on to something completely dead? We are only human, we cannot recreate something dead or bring it back to life…Now I am sounding like a lamentation right? I agree. I am somewhat surprised at myself. But there is a reason for this lamentation. I received news that an old acquaintance of mine murdered his wife. It was still sounding so surreal (believe me I have never had this so close to home in a matter of speaking) until I saw it in the newspapers. It left me spellbound and speechless. You may feel I am making a noise over something that happens practically everyday. But Lord reading about something that happened to some unknown person some distance away is different from reading about someone you know PERSONALLY!?!  This piece of news is too close for comfort and it surely thrust me forward to face the harsh realities of life.

Please if that relationship is becoming life threatening, don’t DIE trying to save it.

Adieu Endurance Ajisegiri.

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