Tag Archives: life

So True

15 Sep

I came across a quote yesterday, it was or is a wisdom quote. I so loved the quote I had to have it re-blogged (it was originally blogged by Otrazhenie). The quote simply goes ‘The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay.’

How nice to have the strong ones amongst us weak mortals. I say ‘us weak mortals’ because I don’t see myself as being strong, most times I need someone to ‘unburden’ on, someone who would perform the simple act of listening, sometimes not listening to proffer solutions but just listening. I am sure many of us fall under that category.

Point is even the weak at times have to exhibit some strength when they meet with those they are stronger than. Virtually everyone has someone or those who look up to them. A parent undergoing depression has to cast aside their depression to be strong for their children, the children is their department,they just have to man it depressed or no. Even amongst the children, the younger ones tend to look up to the older ones and the older ones simply assume the role of the strong one when the parents just aren’t there. You find older siblings forgoing their meals for the younger ones, or rustling up some food for them to eat even if they have zero cooking skills. I remember when we were little, sometimes we would get back from school and there’s nothing to eat (no prepared meal) and mum and dad are still at work. Our eldest brother would go to the backyard, there was a kind of flower garden there with some other plants that looked like vegetables, I don’t know how he did it, but he would get some of those ‘vegetables’ some snails and he always came up with tasty ‘nameless’ dishes! For us then he was the strong one and he always made sure we, his younger siblings were okay before he had his meal.

So what I am saying in effect is that there is a hierarchy when it comes to being strong. In the family arrangement, the ultimate source of strength is the husband/father. Everyone in the home looks up to him. Sometimes in trying to keep up the appearance of being strong, some of them actually do without complaining about any form of discomfort or ailment. How many sudden deaths are recorded for women, how about men in general? Do the math.

Another set of ‘strong’ ones that should be taken care of are caregivers. It is so easy to overlook caregivers and assume they are okay…always okay. I have seen several occasions where the caregiver gave up before the person they were caring for.

So true indeed the saying ‘The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay.’ 

Let’s make it a habit to ask if the strong are okay, take time out to check on them and find out how they are faring. You may just find out that the strong person you are looking at may not really be that strong after all. Everyone needs some tender loving care.


Where Are We Now?

10 Sep

The long vacation started end of July for some pupils/students, early August for others, and like every other holiday, the children could not wait to really get into it. Then, the menace called Ebola set in. The press had a field day, spreading terror how best they could. It was like “Catch Ebola in the bus-stop nearest to you”. What else could ruin a holiday than a life-threatening virus.

Granted, the sensationalism created a lot of awareness, (let’s not talk about the bathe and drink salt saga) and a whole lot of changes in many. Notable amongst others is how orderly Nigerians became…no more pushing and shoving at bus-stops, minimal body contact inside of buses, and then the hand sanitisers!

I think producers of hand sanitisers made their greatest sales this period. You can find hand sanitisers sticking out of purses, back pockets, breast pockets… Even those who know nothing about the sanitisers use them these days. For some hand sanitisers replaced the hand creams. It is not surprising to find some using hand sanitisers after washing their hands with soap under running water! Strikes me as quite funny, since the washing of hands with simple soap and running water is really all that is needed, maybe the sanitisers are for ‘double’ protection.

Next we have multiple resumption dates for schools. The Federal government’s directive to adjust the school resumption date was greeted with mixed reactions. Those whose entire livelihood depends on schools’ resuming would not hear of it. If you ask me, all the brouhaha over the resumption date is entirely selfish. Have we really sat back to think about what would happen if this virus enters the school environment? We shall be talking about the wiping out of whole families! The ‘it is not my portion’ ideology alone would cause the biggest problem.

Many, due to their religious affiliations do not believe that anything ‘bad’ can happen to them. This in itself is a high powered self deceit. Bad things happen everyday, even to the most righteous of men! Anyway, back to Ebola, how many parents would have a child running a fever, vomiting, etc and associate the illness to the dreaded virus? We would first try out our usual self medication, during which time the virus would simply pass on to others within the family. If that doesn’t work the next port of call is the church for ‘faith healing’. Even if there is a nagging suspicion of what the problem really is, who would be brave enough to give it its rightful name, after all ‘it is not our portion’. Of course, the hospital is the last resort.

So where exactly are we now? Are schools resuming on the 22nd of September? 13th of October? Indefinitely?

Putting aside our selfishness, what exactly is the right thing to do?

I Remember MJ

25 Jun

I remember very early in the morning this day 5 years ago, I received a phone call, a call that changed my mood for the rest of the day. The caller suggested I tune in to a particular news station and hear first hand what was going on.

I refused. I insisted the caller tell me themselves what it was I should find out. The caller gave up and simply said “Michael Jackson died last night.”

I didn’t believe it.  And neither did I have the courage to tune in to the news station to verify it either. I just blanked out that piece of information from my mind, and decided to face my day as if nothing had happened.

The office was buzzing with the news when I got there, I could see quite clearly that there was at least some truth in what I had earlier heard. But then I still did not react…I was in denial.

Then I got a call from The Gambia, it was from my elder brother who had travelled there at the time. Why was he calling? It was to tell me exactly the same thing, “Did you hear…” At this point I was sitting in front of a TV set and taking in the same piece of news, without any outward show of emotion.

And then my dad walked in. He took a good look at me and asked “How are you holding up?” It was all I needed. I broke down and I cried.

You may wonder ‘why would every member of my family be placing a call to me about this event?’ You guessed right, I was a great fan of MJ in the family and everyone knew that. So everyone just felt I needed consolation…imagine that!

But actually, I did.

I guess everyone had their various reactions to MJ’s death. For some it was good riddance to bad rubbish, to some it was a matter of ‘so he died, duh?’ And yet to some, it was earth shaking. To me it was like, “How could someone like MJ just drop dead?” It was so surreal.

Michael was an enigma. Everyone had an opinion about him from good to bad to downright ugly. Though opinions about his life has always been diverse, a fact that everyone concedes is that he was a great singer, entertainer and performer. No one argues that whether a hater or a lover.

But all the same, everyone still felt his exit from the world scene and like it or not, the world still feels his absence five years down.

What more can I say?

Adieu Michael Jackson.

I remember.






When All Hope is Gone

23 Jun

The leaf hangs on there


Up, up up the top

Of the tree

Blown hither and tither

By the wind

Which blows on all

All that sinned

Then comes the fall

attachment broken

The leaf briefly its

Fall is broken

By the countless others

leaves like itself

That clothe the tree

the tree itself

But the leaf its mission

must fulfil

It glides away from

the others still

And continues its fall

yes it does

This time on its own

it really does

Glide and glide blown

Hither and tither

Then it lands right

there on the water

Which flows with a

mind of it’s own

Wherefore the leaf goes

It glides with the flow

The same way the water


To a land, to land

Where there is no hope

And Bang! You Are Awake

21 Jun

Have you ever been so tired from so much work you did through the day, and you can’t wait for night fall so you have all the sleep you deserve and more, if possible? You are practically sleep walking as you go through the motions, or are they the ‘before bed rituals?’

a light dinner? Check

a shower or a long soak? Check

your favourite night gown, pajamas, something you are comfortable with? Check

a comfy bed and heavenly pillows? Check

the right room temperature? Check

You crawl into bed with the greatest enthusiasm, a fitting end to a stress-filled day. And then…

You wait…

You can hear the clock ticking endlessly, was that an owl hooting out there?

The wait continues

You find yourself listening for the minutest sounds you can ever imagine. You give your head a vigorous shake, you’re supposed to be sleeping right? You toss and turn, you count sheep, you pick up a old boring novel, but nothing helps, you are simply awake. Then you get up and pace around the room, trying to get yourself tired? again?

Many would identify with this scenario and wonder where to get help.

I am no sleep therapist, so I certainly cannot help you with this problem. All I want you to know is that you are not alone in this, millions out there also find it difficult to fall asleep, even after a hard days work.

So if you have a solution, why don’t you share it? It would be highly appreciated.


Gone Without a Sound

7 Jun

I have been around the world

Searching every nook and crany

To find that one that’s special

Alas! There seems to be many

There my vision to blur

My head to thoroughly mess with

And when I’m feeling blue

My heart to thoroughly play with

But then I found you

Though complete with your faults and all

Hope you saw me too

Standing there amongst them so small

Felt like calling to mama

Mum! Look who I finally found!

It was just for a second

But you were gone without a sound

All About Resolutions

27 Dec

Another year is around the corner and for many it is time to come up with the resolution for the year, simply stated, New Year’s resolution. When we talk about resolution we are simply saying what we have resolved to do. To resolve to do something one has a firm determination to meet the target. But for  many, resolutions are just a ritual, you just have to make one…the year has not begun for you if you have not made a resolution. So it seems that there really is no resolve, no determination.

Some resolve to quit smoking when a new year begins. That resolution lasts a few hours for some and a few days for others, and when they suffer a relapse…we can’t blame them, they tried.

For others, it is a resolution to be more homely or supportive of their spouses, a very good intention.

Some say, ‘No womanizing this year’ hmmm.

The big question then is, ‘Is it really worth it?’ Who are we kidding! Coming up with a resolution which we expect to last a whole year is quite a tall dream.

Wouldn’t it be better making a daily resolution and thereby taking life one step at a time? It is much easier to conquer one day at a time than to take on a whole year, after all the individual days make up the year. So make a daily resolution and stick to it. In that way you find that with each passing day you move closer and closer to the ultimate goal you set up for yourself.

So what are you waiting for? Make today’s resolution and see how you scale through for the rest of the year 🙂

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