Tag Archives: motherhood

Where Are We Now?

10 Sep

The long vacation started end of July for some pupils/students, early August for others, and like every other holiday, the children could not wait to really get into it. Then, the menace called Ebola set in. The press had a field day, spreading terror how best they could. It was like “Catch Ebola in the bus-stop nearest to you”. What else could ruin a holiday than a life-threatening virus.

Granted, the sensationalism created a lot of awareness, (let’s not talk about the bathe and drink salt saga) and a whole lot of changes in many. Notable amongst others is how orderly Nigerians became…no more pushing and shoving at bus-stops, minimal body contact inside of buses, and then the hand sanitisers!

I think producers of hand sanitisers made their greatest sales this period. You can find hand sanitisers sticking out of purses, back pockets, breast pockets… Even those who know nothing about the sanitisers use them these days. For some hand sanitisers replaced the hand creams. It is not surprising to find some using hand sanitisers after washing their hands with soap under running water! Strikes me as quite funny, since the washing of hands with simple soap and running water is really all that is needed, maybe the sanitisers are for ‘double’ protection.

Next we have multiple resumption dates for schools. The Federal government’s directive to adjust the school resumption date was greeted with mixed reactions. Those whose entire livelihood depends on schools’ resuming would not hear of it. If you ask me, all the brouhaha over the resumption date is entirely selfish. Have we really sat back to think about what would happen if this virus enters the school environment? We shall be talking about the wiping out of whole families! The ‘it is not my portion’ ideology alone would cause the biggest problem.

Many, due to their religious affiliations do not believe that anything ‘bad’ can happen to them. This in itself is a high powered self deceit. Bad things happen everyday, even to the most righteous of men! Anyway, back to Ebola, how many parents would have a child running a fever, vomiting, etc and associate the illness to the dreaded virus? We would first try out our usual self medication, during which time the virus would simply pass on to others within the family. If that doesn’t work the next port of call is the church for ‘faith healing’. Even if there is a nagging suspicion of what the problem really is, who would be brave enough to give it its rightful name, after all ‘it is not our portion’. Of course, the hospital is the last resort.

So where exactly are we now? Are schools resuming on the 22nd of September? 13th of October? Indefinitely?

Putting aside our selfishness, what exactly is the right thing to do?


A Woman’s Age

25 Jul

My mother once told me that the age of a woman depends on who is asking. That is to say that just as a chameleon changes its colour to suit the environment, a woman’s age also undergoes changes in order to blend with the ‘environment.’

Before the computer age when you could google any information you need, which would include such medical reports which are not ‘classified’…what could be classified about when you were born, I mean, we all know Prince George of Cambridge weighed 8lb 6oz! Well before now, we all rely on whatever the person in question told us to determine the age of others. The women especially had field day misleading whoever they wish, about their age. These used to be the determining factors

  • who is asking?
  • you really want to know?
  • you already know.

For their ‘peers’ women would generally slightly increase their age. They do not want their peers to look down on them because they are younger! The older you are to your peers the better…show some respect!

When they want to impress, they generally reduce their age. Women do not want their male counterparts to see them as old, so they celebrate 18 for about five years, from 18 they skip 19 and become 20 for about another five years. At this time they are approaching 30 but who knows about it? Their next birthday comes and they are 18 again! And then all of a sudden they are 28, and 28 they remain until they are wrinkled.

The only persons who know the woman’s accurate age are her immediate family members, especially their mother. Whoever would lie to their mother about their age?!? Well some dads could be deceived, you are the age you tell your father because to them you are always daddy’s little girl.

Anyway, like I said, that was then and this is now. Some of us are proud to say our age to whoever asks regardless of gender.

I have some very fond memories of my mom and her ‘all wise’ sayings, and anytime I remember her version of what determines a woman’s age, it always brings a smile.


21 Jul

My daughter Crystal graduated from Grade School to High School this weekend, while her elder sister graduated from Junior High to Senior High. We tried to make it a memorable occasion, though the rains had a swell time at our expense!


29 Jun

Had a very, no extremely busy day today and I am beat! I am just going to do the double falling

1. fall into bed

2. fall asleep

It is not easy being a wife, mother, elder sister…the whole title stands for different roles. When you are a wife, your husband makes demands and no matter how you look at it, it is his right.

When you are a mother, the children make demands, and with the internally built motherly instinct, you cannot help but fill their every need. It is not just their right to make demands, those demands give you a reason to live and keep on moving.

When you are an elder sister, your younger siblings make demands and heaven help you when they are in need and you are not there, you feel you have failed the entire universe.

All of these put together revolves around family, immediate and extended. Here in Africa family ties mean a whole lot and so the typical woman must learn how to play each and every role that comes her way.

Well like I said today was a seriously hectic day for me. I filled each and every part of those roles and still had to smile my way through visits from friends tonight, close friends who had to be entertained (see why I need the double falling?)

Today started with general housekeeping to preparing breakfast, to taking care of my sister, to shopping, to preparing two separate dishes (to be stored for the week), to playing video games with my boy (aren’t I a supermom? We played a game of car racing with the police at our heels!), to having a chat with my girls, to having friends over for dinner…hope I haven’t forgotten anything.

To sum it up it was a full day and like Kenny Rogers, ‘it’s gonna take more than waking to rouse me’ tomorrow morning!

Hope you all had a wonderful day, like I did today, and that you have a more splendid one tomorrow.

Nighty night.

Sunday Lunch

16 Jun

This afternoon, in spite of my ill health (I really needed to spite it) I made a dish of ham and black-eyed beans casserole…sorry you can’t get a picture of it, the family was too much in a hurry to eat it while it was hot, there was practically no chance of taking a snapshot!

Preparing the dish took hours and every hour was made to count. And how happy I was with how everyone dug in with unison.

Anyway I have been down since Friday…I think it’s pneumonia, and I have been incapacitated. But this afternoon I dragged myself into the kitchen and prepared lunch and you know what? I feel a lot better now than I ever felt since Friday (that doesn’t mean I have not been taking my medicines, I have) and I believe I can face tomorrow with more enthusiasm. Only I pray I don’t have a relapse…there is no kitchen in my office!

Recipe for Frustration

7 Jun

Blend having to do grocery shopping on a Friday with passing through deadly traffic and then getting home to find that there is no electricity supply (well that is quite normal considering that this is Nigeria) and finding out that the technicians that were supposed to repair your power generating set did not do the job and therefore your home is in darkness, and what do you get? I would tell you, you have a recipe for FRUSTRATED ANGER. Well that was how I felt when I got home today…utterly frustrated. It is even more insane when you consider that what I bought were perishables!

What did I do?

Well I put everything away in their respective places and I hit the sack because Lord knows I can’t lift a finger to save myself tonight.

As for the groceries, I believe they also need a prayer.

Who Really is Stronger?

6 Jun

When you hear the expression “wear the pants” it means ‘be the man’ right? But these days when both the men and women wear pants it becomes increasingly difficult for some to digest the full meaning of that expression. Since women are fully into the job market, the traditional family setting is fast dying. The common scene is mom and dad driving off in the morning to their respective workplaces while the school bus takes the children to school. Then after a hard days work, mom and dad returns and mom heads to the kitchen and if dad is generous enough he joins her in preparing the family dinner, but if he wants to “wear the pants” he sits in front of the TV and expects his dinner.

Now I am no feminist and the idea of women’s lib thoroughly irritates me.But when I see what the womenfolk have to go through from day to day, I really must give it to them (or to us for I am very much included).  The full time working mother is also a full time housewife for whenever she comes home she must keep house, doesn’t she? And when she asks for help from her macho husband he claims he has had a very tiring day and needs his rest and yet we are called the ‘weaker vessel’!

Well I believe the menfolk should show more of that machismo by trying to help out more around the house especially if the missus also works full time. I mean…what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, right? They should ‘wear the pants’ more by exhibiting that physical strength for which we have always known them. We shall greatly appreciate that for one thing every woman craves is a MAN who really ‘wears the pants’.

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