Tag Archives: opinion

So True

15 Sep

I came across a quote yesterday, it was or is a wisdom quote. I so loved the quote I had to have it re-blogged (it was originally blogged by Otrazhenie). The quote simply goes ‘The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay.’

How nice to have the strong ones amongst us weak mortals. I say ‘us weak mortals’ because I don’t see myself as being strong, most times I need someone to ‘unburden’ on, someone who would perform the simple act of listening, sometimes not listening to proffer solutions but just listening. I am sure many of us fall under that category.

Point is even the weak at times have to exhibit some strength when they meet with those they are stronger than. Virtually everyone has someone or those who look up to them. A parent undergoing depression has to cast aside their depression to be strong for their children, the children is their department,they just have to man it depressed or no. Even amongst the children, the younger ones tend to look up to the older ones and the older ones simply assume the role of the strong one when the parents just aren’t there. You find older siblings forgoing their meals for the younger ones, or rustling up some food for them to eat even if they have zero cooking skills. I remember when we were little, sometimes we would get back from school and there’s nothing to eat (no prepared meal) and mum and dad are still at work. Our eldest brother would go to the backyard, there was a kind of flower garden there with some other plants that looked like vegetables, I don’t know how he did it, but he would get some of those ‘vegetables’ some snails and he always came up with tasty ‘nameless’ dishes! For us then he was the strong one and he always made sure we, his younger siblings were okay before he had his meal.

So what I am saying in effect is that there is a hierarchy when it comes to being strong. In the family arrangement, the ultimate source of strength is the husband/father. Everyone in the home looks up to him. Sometimes in trying to keep up the appearance of being strong, some of them actually do without complaining about any form of discomfort or ailment. How many sudden deaths are recorded for women, how about men in general? Do the math.

Another set of ‘strong’ ones that should be taken care of are caregivers. It is so easy to overlook caregivers and assume they are okay…always okay. I have seen several occasions where the caregiver gave up before the person they were caring for.

So true indeed the saying ‘The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you’re okay.’ 

Let’s make it a habit to ask if the strong are okay, take time out to check on them and find out how they are faring. You may just find out that the strong person you are looking at may not really be that strong after all. Everyone needs some tender loving care.


Where Are We Now?

10 Sep

The long vacation started end of July for some pupils/students, early August for others, and like every other holiday, the children could not wait to really get into it. Then, the menace called Ebola set in. The press had a field day, spreading terror how best they could. It was like “Catch Ebola in the bus-stop nearest to you”. What else could ruin a holiday than a life-threatening virus.

Granted, the sensationalism created a lot of awareness, (let’s not talk about the bathe and drink salt saga) and a whole lot of changes in many. Notable amongst others is how orderly Nigerians became…no more pushing and shoving at bus-stops, minimal body contact inside of buses, and then the hand sanitisers!

I think producers of hand sanitisers made their greatest sales this period. You can find hand sanitisers sticking out of purses, back pockets, breast pockets… Even those who know nothing about the sanitisers use them these days. For some hand sanitisers replaced the hand creams. It is not surprising to find some using hand sanitisers after washing their hands with soap under running water! Strikes me as quite funny, since the washing of hands with simple soap and running water is really all that is needed, maybe the sanitisers are for ‘double’ protection.

Next we have multiple resumption dates for schools. The Federal government’s directive to adjust the school resumption date was greeted with mixed reactions. Those whose entire livelihood depends on schools’ resuming would not hear of it. If you ask me, all the brouhaha over the resumption date is entirely selfish. Have we really sat back to think about what would happen if this virus enters the school environment? We shall be talking about the wiping out of whole families! The ‘it is not my portion’ ideology alone would cause the biggest problem.

Many, due to their religious affiliations do not believe that anything ‘bad’ can happen to them. This in itself is a high powered self deceit. Bad things happen everyday, even to the most righteous of men! Anyway, back to Ebola, how many parents would have a child running a fever, vomiting, etc and associate the illness to the dreaded virus? We would first try out our usual self medication, during which time the virus would simply pass on to others within the family. If that doesn’t work the next port of call is the church for ‘faith healing’. Even if there is a nagging suspicion of what the problem really is, who would be brave enough to give it its rightful name, after all ‘it is not our portion’. Of course, the hospital is the last resort.

So where exactly are we now? Are schools resuming on the 22nd of September? 13th of October? Indefinitely?

Putting aside our selfishness, what exactly is the right thing to do?

Love…a Unique Feeling

9 Jul

It’s been said, and rightly so, that humans have the greatest capability to love. I am sure that the reason for this is that our fellow occupants of the planet, the animals, do not really know how to express love like humans, they work by instinct. So that means that when the hen gathers its chicks under its wings it is not actually love, it is being instinctively protective of its young ones. When the lion fights off intruders into its pride, it’s not really love for the lionesses or the cubs for that matter, it is, like the hen, also protecting its domain…instinctively.

Then we come to humans. When we talk about love as it relates to humans, there is always the tendency to think only about romantic love. But we are wrong, romantic love is just one of the types of love humans display, there are others. We humans show love in four different ways

  • love for family members. This kind of love is found in every society. People would bend over backwards to take care of their family members, the expression ‘we are family’ seems to make some action which otherwise would have been looked upon as wrong, to be acceptable. It takes sometimes ‘superhuman effort’ to go against one’s family, it is often considered unnatural. As unnatural as when a mother decides to do away with her child.
  • brotherly affection…the love among friends. Children born of the same parents have a unique bond. It is so great that they try as much as possible to look after each other and protect each other even against their parents sometimes. It is therefore no wonder some would say of a close friend, “We are not just friends, we are brothers /sisters. Animals can only practise this kind of love in cartoons or animations.
  • romantic love…that is the love that exists between spouses, a husband and a wife, a man a woman. It is a warm feeling that attracts these two opposites and brings them together to form a family where the other forms of love are born.
  • agape…unconditional love. This love transcends all others because it is a love that is not bound by family ties or friendships. Agape makes all the other forms of love pale into insignificance. It is the kind of love that moves someone to protect a total stranger at the expense of their own life. It is principled love, a love without hypocrisy. The foremost personage to display that love to us, was and is God.

It is important that we do that which sets us apart from animals. Let love rule our hearts and our minds and indeed our thinking. With love in our hearts we would not take up arms to kill each other in the name of terrorism or crime. Let’s imitate God’s selfless love and be happy.

Free at Last?

5 Jul

Free at Last?.

Free at Last?

4 Jul

Everyone has their own idea of what freedom is. When a child demands freedom from their parents, most of the time it has to do with such trivial things as choice of clothes for example. A child tells the mother “I am a big boy/girl now, I need my space”, and that is coming in the wake of the mother picking out an article of clothing, which the “big boy/girl feels is outdated, for an occasion.

An adolescent asks for freedom because of something which in their little minds might make or mar them. And what is the big issue? They want their curfew extended or lifted all together! Why do they demand this?  “All” the other kids in school do not abide by a curfew, duh!

A girl wants freedom because she needs to date that boy. A boy wants freedom because he has to hang out with his friends. A husband wants freedom, he doesn’t have to be with his wife all the time, does he? A wife needs freedom, who says a woman’s place is in the kitchen wearing an apron?

Then countries fight for freedom because they do not want anyone to rule over them.

You see everyone craves for freedom, but the question is can we ever be really free?

No matter how man looks at it, the freedom they get would always be relative. Now I am not really talking about freedom from God, non of us can obtain THAT freedom. (Even those who do not believe that God exists still depend on certain forces to remain alive, we all do.) I am saying that whatever freedom we may have we are dependent on something or someone.

The child that gets freedom to decide what to wear depends on their parents to provide the clothes; the adolescent that wants the curfew extended, depends on mummy and daddy dearest to provide the roof under which they would sleep whenever they return. The husband that craves freedom needs the comfort and warmth of his wife when he done gallivanting around town; the wife…don’t we all know her needs?

Then we come to an independent country and we begin to wonder, if no man is an island, what about whole countries? Even islands need supplies from the main land.

So then are we really free?

My Language, My Culture

2 Jul

For those who do not desire the language or their culture to die here  is introducing a program billed for  October the first, tentatively.  It is tagged ‘Ede Mi, Asa Mi’, which is Yoruba for ‘My Language, My Culture’. I know I blogged this earlier today but this is for those who missed it then for I believe it is very important as well as dear to me.

It has been noticed that many cultures are dying and since it is virtually impossible to separate language from culture, so are the languages.(It is noteworthy that many of us, modern parents, train our children with the English language, the kids do not understand a word in their native languages. I am a culprit in this too and that is very sad.)This makes many, including me, quite sad because when we lose our culture, we lose that which make us a people, we lose our values, for values are imbued with culture.

Cultures teach respect, respect for life, respect for their elders, parents, etc. For many, I must say mediocre, narrow minded people, accepting the western culture (or what is called ‘the foreign pop culture’) is equal to displaying all forms of lawlessness!

I am aware that the Western culture, though advocating freeness of speech, also teaches respect for everything and everyone that deserves respect. But it quite alarming how those of us from Africa (pardon my generalisation), I mean many of us from Africa, especially the youths, feel that the have to display a high form of unsocial behaviour to prove they have either visited or lived abroad. It is no wonder that many parents are returning their children home, if for nothing else, at least for them to learn respect.

Hence the introduction of My Language, My Culture. I would keep you posted as to arrangements put in place to make this event a success. After showcasing the Yoruba culture in this first edition, we shall move to the Ibo edition, Asusum, Omela alam’, and on. We look forward to this event with a lot of enthusiasm.

Sometimes I Wonder…

23 Jun

Sometimes it feels so lousy and frustrating being Nigerian. Imagine clicking on a film on YouTube and being told its contents has been blocked for your country because of copyright laws.

Don’t get me wrong, my problem is not with YouTube, it is with the country to which I belong, a country which ranks, no I don’t want to state that it is too embarrassing, in the list of corrupt nations. Copyright laws exist here alright, but do they go implemented? THAT is the point. And now the generalisation is making those of us who know what to and what not to do with copyright properties look like criminals.

Did I say criminals? Of course I said criminals! Anyone who has no respect for or steals others’ properties, intellectual or otherwise is a criminal, pure and simple.

I believe in calling a spade a spade, but I don’t believe in generalisation. I believe in judging each individual on their merits and not with relation to others of the same tribe or race or country. But then since the world thrives in generalisation, well, I have no choice but to look for alternatives that my “beloved country” can access.

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