Tag Archives: youths

Have a Kid in High School? (Continued)

10 Mar

Here are the rest of the groupings or categories.
The Dorks
The dork is considered to be silly, out-of-touch, tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit, a stupid, inept, or foolish person.
This is going by the definition of the other kids. A girl that does not go around in the skimpy and “trendy” clothes would be labeled a dork, don’t you think?
Nerd (adjective: nerdy) is a descriptive term, often used to indicate that a person is overly intellectual, obsessive, or socially impaired. They may spend inordinate amounts of time on unpopular, obscure, or non-mainstream activities, which are generally either highly technical or relating to topics of fiction or fantasy, to the exclusion of more mainstream activities. Additionally, many nerds are described as being shy, quirky, and unattractive, and may have difficulty participating in, or even following, sports. Though originally derogatory, “Nerd” is a stereotypical term, but as with other pejoratives, it has been reclaimed and redefined by some as a term of pride and group identity.
These are the bookworms so to speak and last time I checked, we send our kids to school to read books and study.

The Duffs
Designated Ugly Fat Friend
Be attentive to how your kids feel about their looks. If they are fussy about their weigh when there really is no reason for it, watch out! They may have been designated duffs in school.
The Bully
Bullying is a common occurrence in most schools. Bullies thrive with terrorizing others and striking fear in them. A bully does not necessarily have to be bigger in size, they have mastered the art of inflicting pain be it physical, mental, emotional. Some bully as a means of self-preservation, others just for fun. No one loves to be bullied, and no one loves to raise a bully.
The Geeks
The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult
Not to be confused with Nerd. A geek does not have to be smart, a Geek is someone who is generaly not athletic, and enjoys Video Games; Comic Books; being on the internet, and etc.
The term now enjoys a special status within the technical community, particularly among particularly knowledgable computer programmers. To identify oneself as a “geek” indicates a recognition that most people still consider programming computers to be a bizarre act, along with a certain fierce satisfaction in being very good at their inglorious profession.

That most software geeks now easily earn twice as much as the average laborer just sweetens their defiant embrace of the term.

Note: Unlike the word “nerd,” which is always pejorative, “geek” often carries a positive connotation when used by one of the group. The use of the term by outsiders is considered insulting.
Those outside the group feel the geeks are weird or uncool. The geeks just love being geeks.
CL Complete Loser
A person who has fallen off the social ladder, climbed down the social ladder, jumped off the social ladder, or just never bothered to climb the social ladder in the first place. Upon arrival on the ground, losers begin to befriend fellow groundlings and realize how much fun a person can have when gravity isn’t an issue. It is perfectly acceptable to insult losers, because they have nowhere to fall to and it won’t hurt much. They will end up laughing about it later, anyways. Every now and then, a loser will glance at the top of the social ladder, but it is never long before they realize how pointless and stupid the top of the ladder is.
The saying “He that is down fears no fall” comes in handy. They are like the ‘factionless’ in the movie Divergents. They mind their own business and hope you mind yours.
The Cool Kids
-When someone is “cool” they are popular, suave, and you like them.
The cool kids are also popular, but may not come with the fat bank accounts and certainly are not dumb.
The Dweebs
Different then nerd, geek, or dork. A dweeb is someone who is intellectual and socially-inept, but also ineffectual and devoid of passion.
Max, fitting the role of the dweeb, spent all Friday night reading Hartshorne’s “Algebraic Geometry” while the others in the dorm wing went downtown for an evening of fun.
By looking between all of these definitions, we realise that the word ‘dweeb’ translates more or less to ‘loser’
Why don’t you try to find out how your kids are faring in this new environment called high school? How do their peers view them? How do they feel about how their peers and school mates relate to them? Is it affecting their studies? Do your kids really like school?
You’ll be glad you did.



21 Jul

My daughter Crystal graduated from Grade School to High School this weekend, while her elder sister graduated from Junior High to Senior High. We tried to make it a memorable occasion, though the rains had a swell time at our expense!

My Language, My Culture

2 Jul

For those who do not desire the language or their culture to die here  is introducing a program billed for  October the first, tentatively.  It is tagged ‘Ede Mi, Asa Mi’, which is Yoruba for ‘My Language, My Culture’. I know I blogged this earlier today but this is for those who missed it then for I believe it is very important as well as dear to me.

It has been noticed that many cultures are dying and since it is virtually impossible to separate language from culture, so are the languages.(It is noteworthy that many of us, modern parents, train our children with the English language, the kids do not understand a word in their native languages. I am a culprit in this too and that is very sad.)This makes many, including me, quite sad because when we lose our culture, we lose that which make us a people, we lose our values, for values are imbued with culture.

Cultures teach respect, respect for life, respect for their elders, parents, etc. For many, I must say mediocre, narrow minded people, accepting the western culture (or what is called ‘the foreign pop culture’) is equal to displaying all forms of lawlessness!

I am aware that the Western culture, though advocating freeness of speech, also teaches respect for everything and everyone that deserves respect. But it quite alarming how those of us from Africa (pardon my generalisation), I mean many of us from Africa, especially the youths, feel that the have to display a high form of unsocial behaviour to prove they have either visited or lived abroad. It is no wonder that many parents are returning their children home, if for nothing else, at least for them to learn respect.

Hence the introduction of My Language, My Culture. I would keep you posted as to arrangements put in place to make this event a success. After showcasing the Yoruba culture in this first edition, we shall move to the Ibo edition, Asusum, Omela alam’, and on. We look forward to this event with a lot of enthusiasm.

WhenTeens Begin to Wish to Die…There is a Problem!

12 Jun

When I remember my childhood, I remember dreams…dreams of castles and princes in shining armour, dreams of having a dozen adorable children to dote on, dreams of living to be a hundred and fifty and yet NOT growing old, dreams of my parents always being there no matter how old we get to be, visions of becoming a celebrity and always rising to the cheering and applause of a massive crowd (even rehearsing how I would wave to them in response to the applause).

Tall dreams all of these, but such was the joy of childhood and adolescence, NEVER in the agenda was death! Then the world was more focused, though the badness was still there but the most heinous of crimes were only found in the movies.

Now worse crimes than movie makers can conjecture are committed in real life, the resultant effect? Our children who really should be living carefree lives now want to end it all. We have severely depressed children than at any other time in our generation. (I remember it was considered impossible for a child below 18 to have a headache when I was growing up, the general thinking was, “What is the child thinking about so as to have a headache?) Now children are born with headaches, they have brain tumours and problems that even adults find difficult to understand.

When I read about what is happening to Paris Jackson, I cannot help but feel for the poor fifteen year old who preoccupies herself with thoughts of dying. She is simply re-living her father’s life…no childhood.

We need to feel pity for the children, the teens of this generation. They have far more in their plates than some of us had for two score years put together. Could it be TV, the world’s warped idea of entertainment and humour? Are we in such a dead hurry to have our children grow up that we bring them face to face with adult problems and expect them to rise to the occasion?

Whatever it is, let’s let the children play, when they want to, skip about when they deserve to, talk like children when they have the chance…Let’s let the children BE children.

They Know Us Better

28 May

I was feeling irritated as I was doing some chores the other day, when my eldest daughter walked up to me and started narrating an experience from school. Now I pride myself that I always pay attention to the children come what may, but this day I was…irritated. Even more so is the fact that she speaks so fast that I normally give her undivided attention to catch every word she says especially when she is speaking excitedly. That patience wasn’t there this because…well you are right, I was irritated. So I just short her up and made some nasty remark about her never being audible enough. Well I just said a bunch of things that had a lot of “never” in it. Even as I was saying it, a tiny voice was telling me, “You’re doing this badly, you are generalising, not good, not good”. But I just ploughed on telling the voice in my head “I just want to be alone, I can apologise later.”

As if the voice in my head was not doing enough damage to my psyche my daughter stood her ground. She looked totally unaffected by my rants. I paused from the dishes I was doing and gave her a hopefully intimidating look. She wasn’t looking intimidated either. She said to me, “All you need to do is ask for a hand for I am sure you know you cannot do everything around here. So hand over the sponge and stand over here while I do the dishes and tell you my experience”.

I felt deflated and like a small child who has just been scolded, I handed her the sponge and stood where she asked me to stand. She collected the sponge, gave me a smile as she shook her head. We both burst into laughter simultaneously, all offences forgotten as she proceeded to guide me through her school experience.

As I listened to her I could not help but thank God I have a daughter who actually understands me even more than I understand myself sometimes. And I decided to share because I know somewhere out there are a lot of us parents who have such understanding kids. We really should be grateful for that!

An Open Letter

22 Apr

To the one I used to love as my own until she proved she never was,

Ever since you left I have wondered and wondered (my brain is almost fried from wondering) ‘why did you do it?’ What would your explanation be to those who ask you the same question? I try to detach myself, make it seem that it does not matter, I am not bothered, but it is not true…ten years is quite a long time to be flushed down the toilet.

But then I discovered the lies…the lies you told to justify your actions to those who cared to find out why such a drastic decision was taken, and I realise you just wanted out. It is not but it’s okay. I understand you have to live your life and I have no right over it, after all I am NOT your mother and your parents are very much alive. You are with your parents now and they love you…I believe much much more than I ever could. So I say goodbye to you. Have a wonderful time and a blessed future. There is nothing more I could have wished you more than that your future remains blessed, that you find whatever it is you are looking for. But remember you do not need look too hard for certain things…they come to you.

I pray it goes well with you, but please, do not give anyone else the treatment you gave me, it is unforgivable.

I am willing to let the past remain in the past. I have learned to build my life around MY family, which no longer includes you.

May you find peace with the one who made you leave.

How Far Should Parents Go? Part 2

12 Apr

A builder knows how many rooms he wants in his house, he could alter it if he wishes, and the building regulations in the area gives the maximum number of floors you could have. Some prospective parents have fallen into the trap of drawing up their ‘plan’ for their children way up to who the children would marry when they grow up and how many children their children would have—so to speak.

Such parents are bound to face problems. Why?

Humans are no robots. All humans have something in common—free will. It was given to us all by the creator. This factor must be considered when as parents we face the temptation to plan our children’s lives to suit us. When the children are babies you could choose the type of diaper you want them to wear, the styles of clothing they would put on. To some extent you dictate what they would eat. This is because you cannot force feed a child what they do not want to eat. The child simply spits it up. Thus from babyhood, your child begins to show their preferences in certain issues.

The bottom line?

Allow your children to grow up, make their own mistakes—mistakes are to be learnt from—make needed adjustments with the full conviction that we are there for them whenever they fall. Do not get me wrong, this does not rule out shaping the life of your children through needed discipline, advice—sometimes strongly given, and of course a loving atmosphere that makes for a wholesome association at home and keeps the line of communication open.

So how far should parents go?

Parents can only go as far as they can go, as far as the child allows you to go since in all sincerity you cannot live your children’s lives.

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