April 2013 In Retrospect

Today is the last day of April. Tomorrow would be the first day of May, May Day for short. But I am not looking at the worker’s day which is tomorrow, I am looking back at April as a whole. April was the month I grew up most…considering that I am over forty it means my growth must have been somehow stunted. Now don’t get me wrong I am not some kind of pygmy. I just grew up because I have come to see life as it is…a circle of happiness, excitement, expectations, disappointments, shock.

Mine has always been a life of laughter and a few sprinkles of sadness which NEVER got me depressed…so to speak. But in April I had a full dose of the ‘bad things of life’. I can’t start recounting them, or rather I won’t start recounting them, so I don’t feel bad again, but I have decided to learn from it. I have learnt to be more prudent, less trusting and most importantly NO MORE NAIVE. 

So you see, I have really grown up. It really takes bad experiences to jolt one to reality and somehow I am happy I got the jolt.

So ‘in your face life!’ I am up and ready to write my next book.

Don’t Have a Clue

Been down for quite a while…ulcer attack. But I am better now and ready to face the day. However I would highly appreciate anyone who would give me a clue as to how I could ‘permanently’ end these attacks.

An Open Letter

To the one I used to love as my own until she proved she never was,

Ever since you left I have wondered and wondered (my brain is almost fried from wondering) ‘why did you do it?’ What would your explanation be to those who ask you the same question? I try to detach myself, make it seem that it does not matter, I am not bothered, but it is not true…ten years is quite a long time to be flushed down the toilet.

But then I discovered the lies…the lies you told to justify your actions to those who cared to find out why such a drastic decision was taken, and I realise you just wanted out. It is not but it’s okay. I understand you have to live your life and I have no right over it, after all I am NOT your mother and your parents are very much alive. You are with your parents now and they love you…I believe much much more than I ever could. So I say goodbye to you. Have a wonderful time and a blessed future. There is nothing more I could have wished you more than that your future remains blessed, that you find whatever it is you are looking for. But remember you do not need look too hard for certain things…they come to you.

I pray it goes well with you, but please, do not give anyone else the treatment you gave me, it is unforgivable.

I am willing to let the past remain in the past. I have learned to build my life around MY family, which no longer includes you.

May you find peace with the one who made you leave.

The Harsh Realities of Life

Is it really necessary to cling to a dead relationship? Is it dignifying to us if we keep hanging on to something completely dead? We are only human, we cannot recreate something dead or bring it back to life…Now I am sounding like a lamentation right? I agree. I am somewhat surprised at myself. But there is a reason for this lamentation. I received news that an old acquaintance of mine murdered his wife. It was still sounding so surreal (believe me I have never had this so close to home in a matter of speaking) until I saw it in the newspapers. It left me spellbound and speechless. You may feel I am making a noise over something that happens practically everyday. But Lord reading about something that happened to some unknown person some distance away is different from reading about someone you know PERSONALLY!?!  This piece of news is too close for comfort and it surely thrust me forward to face the harsh realities of life.

Please if that relationship is becoming life threatening, don’t DIE trying to save it.

Adieu Endurance Ajisegiri.

Tom Gets a Bunny Rabbit

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Tom has always dreamed of owning a pet. He dreamed of it so much that he not only saw animals in his dreams but also when he was wide awake, which was quite peculiar because he lived in the city and there were no animals around.

Tom’s name was actually Thomas Wallace, but he preferred to be called Tom for short. He liked the name Tom. It reminded him of the famous cat in the cartoon series, Tom and Jerry. Though going by Tom’s performance in the cartoon series he would rather be called Jerry because Jerry always outsmarted Tom.

Maybe it was his love for the Tom and Jerry series that made him desire a pet so much. He could keep a cat, but mum says it would tear up the entire furniture. Could he keep a mouse then, just a cute little white one? Mum would not hear of it. Whoever kept a mouse as a pet!

He tried to get dad to listen to him and get him a pet but dad always agreed with mum. There was no defeating the two.

One day, Tom’s family watched a documentary on wild life. They watched a documentary that showed the life of a rabbit. Tom fell in love with the beautiful creature called the rabbit and from then on he started asking mum to get him a bunny rabbit.

Mum could not find any excuse for not obliging him. She too had watched the documentary and knew the bunny rabbit was harmless. But she wanted Tom to do something before he could get one for himself.

‘You have to save up money to get yourself a bunny rabbit if you really want one’, she said.

Tom was happy his mother had given him permission to keep a bunny rabbit as pet even if he had to pay for it himself. He went to a pet shop to find out how much he would have to pay to get himself a bunny rabbit.

The owner of the pet shop took one look at Tom and shook his head.

‘You can’t be here on your own, your parents have to do the business of getting you a pet by themselves’, he said quite sternly.

‘But I have their permission to be here’, Tom answered politely. ‘And besides I only want to know how much a bunny rabbit goes for’ he continued ‘like that one’, he said pointing to a white bunny rabbit inside its cage chewing at something in its hands.

‘Oh that, well that would cost you five dollars’ answered the pet shop owner. ‘Do you like her?’

 

 

‘She is so beautiful’, Tom answered. ‘But I have to save up more money in order to get it’ he told the pet shop owner. ‘Could you hold it down for me till the end of the week? Then I would have saved enough money to pay for it.’

The pet shop owner, grumpy though he was, was impressed by what Tom was doing. How many little kids like Tom would save up money to buy a pet he thought. Tom could not be more than eight and here he was ready to save money to get himself a pet. The man was so impressed that he said to Tom ‘I would give you a discount of five percent because you are saving up the money yourself. Can you figure out how much you are going to pay at the end of the week?’

Tom creased his forehead in concentration.

‘If ten percent of five dollars is fifty cents, then five percent would be twenty-five cents.’ He smiled to himself as he turned to the man. ‘I have to pay four dollars seventy-five cents.’

The once grumpy man smiled at Tom. ‘That is very correct young man, now you go and when you come back in a week you would have your white bunny rabbit.’

Tom went back home happy with himself. He already had two dollars and fifty cents in his piggy bank and his parents always gave him 50¢ as pocket money each school day, so he knew that if he saved all of his pocket money for the week, he would have the money he needed for the bunny rabbit. But he still had a problem, how would he resist the temptation to spend his money when his friends were busy spending theirs?

Tom’s best friend was Carly. She was smart and helped him to be a good boy when in school. She had a good influence on him.

When tom got to school on Monday, he could not speak to Carly because he arrived just before classes began. When school was over however, he looked for and found Carly at the locker room. She was with Spencer, another friend of his.

‘Hi Carly, hey Spencer’, greeted Tom.

‘Hello Tom’, Carly answered. ‘Spencer wants us to get some cotton candy on our way back’.

‘Well… I can’t do that’, Tom said looking slightly downcast.

‘Why is that?’ Spencer asked. ‘Your folks did not give you your pocket money today?’

‘No’, said Tom. ‘They did.’

‘Then why can’t you get some cotton candy with us?’ Carly asked.

‘Well I am saving up for a pet’.

‘A pet!’ exclaimed Carly. ‘Your mum finally permitted you to keep one?’

‘Yes she did’, Tom answered relieved that Carly was happy for him.

‘What pet do you intend to get?’ asked Spencer.

‘I want to get a bunny rabbit’ Tom replied.

‘They are cute creatures’, Carly observed.

‘Why do you have to save for it?’ Spencer asked not at all impressed. ‘Can’t your parents get you a pet?’

‘Don’t pay him any attention’ Carly said quickly and shot Spencer a distasteful look. ‘WE shall help you save up for your bunny, won’t we?’ she looked pointedly at Spencer brooking no objections.

‘Yes we shall help’ Spencer agreed reluctantly.

And so it was that throughout the week Carly and Spencer shared their pocket money with Tom so he would have enough money to buy his bunny rabbit.

At the end of the week, Tom opened his piggy bank and counted the money he had inside it. He was surprised he had the sum of seven dollars

 

 

 

in it! He already had four dollars and fifty cents BEFORE he started saving for the bunny rabbit.

Tom was very happy. He told his parents that he had enough money to get the bunny rabbit. His father helped him to construct a cage for the bunny and then accompanied him to get the bunny from the pet shop.

The owner of the pet shop was happy to see Tom again. He had been looking forward to seeing the smart boy who had performed mental sums in front of him the week before.

‘Hello boy’, he greeted Tom as Tom walked into the shop with his father.

‘This must be your father’, the man continued.

‘Good afternoon sir,’ Tom responded. ‘Yes, this is my father. I came for my bunny rabbit.’

‘Your bunny is right here waiting for you’, the man replied.

His father picked up the bunny rabbit for his son and Tom paid for it. Tom gave the man five dollars and the man gave him change of 25¢.

The shop owner also gave Tom some nuts and seeds to feed the rabbit with.

Tom was so happy when he got home. The rabbit was let into its new home. Tom put some of the seeds into a container and kept it in the cage for the rabbit to eat. As he did that the rabbit nuzzled his hand and licked it. This showed that the bunny liked him already.

Mum came over to Tom, ‘So what name do you want to give your pet?’ she asked.

‘I would name her Cutey because she looks so cute’, he said.

Mum and dad laughed at that.

Later Spencer and Carly came to see the bunny. Tom told them her name was Cutey and they laughed too.

Tom went into the kitchen and came out with some muffins and cotton candy for his friends. Since he had about two dollars to spare he had decided to give his supportive friends a treat.

Later that evening after Tom had feed his bunny and had his own dinner he went into his bedroom to find five dollars on his bed together with a note.

The note said “Because we are proud of you.” And it was signed Mum and Dad.

Tom went to bed feeling very happy, he had his bunny, his money back and best of all, parents that really loved him.

 

 

 

 

How Far Should Parents Go? Part 2

A builder knows how many rooms he wants in his house, he could alter it if he wishes, and the building regulations in the area gives the maximum number of floors you could have. Some prospective parents have fallen into the trap of drawing up their ‘plan’ for their children way up to who the children would marry when they grow up and how many children their children would have—so to speak.

Such parents are bound to face problems. Why?

Humans are no robots. All humans have something in common—free will. It was given to us all by the creator. This factor must be considered when as parents we face the temptation to plan our children’s lives to suit us. When the children are babies you could choose the type of diaper you want them to wear, the styles of clothing they would put on. To some extent you dictate what they would eat. This is because you cannot force feed a child what they do not want to eat. The child simply spits it up. Thus from babyhood, your child begins to show their preferences in certain issues.

The bottom line?

Allow your children to grow up, make their own mistakes—mistakes are to be learnt from—make needed adjustments with the full conviction that we are there for them whenever they fall. Do not get me wrong, this does not rule out shaping the life of your children through needed discipline, advice—sometimes strongly given, and of course a loving atmosphere that makes for a wholesome association at home and keeps the line of communication open.

So how far should parents go?

Parents can only go as far as they can go, as far as the child allows you to go since in all sincerity you cannot live your children’s lives.

How Far Should Parents Go? Part 1

To qualify to be called a parent, you must first and foremost, have a child. Bringing a child into the world is not something embarked on to fulfill a whim. A lot of planning goes into it- rather should go into it. The fact that there is such a phrase as ‘planned parenting’ certainly suggests that we also have unplanned parenting. Now what we have to analyse is parenting that is planned. How far should couples who actually planned to become parents go in their parenting?

Parenting, to some dgree, is like biulding a house. I say ‘to some degree’ because parenting and building a house have some things in common. We have already said thet parenting should be planned, just like a house- you need a master plan. Parenting, like a building, could be capital intensive. When you bring a fellow human being into the world, you should be ready to take care of them. Just like the style of the building depends largely on the ‘pocket’ of the builder, so too the kind of upbringing a child has depends on the financial status of the parents. A building needs a firm foundation, so do the children. They need to be set on the right direction having a solid footing so as to be confident adults.

Unfortunately, that is how far the similarities go.

Life

If one lashes out against life they only waste their time because life goes on…and so must we.